The first time I heard of the grass is greener syndrome was when a reader of this site pointed it out to me. That is definitely not the case anymore as I did extensive research to make sure I knew everything there was to know. The Grass Is Greener Syndrome- The belief that what you currently have in your life is no longer good enough or adequate.
As a result, you begin to believe that there are better things out there. The GIGS is mostly used to refer to people in relationships but it can also be applied to people who are in jobs. Of course, since we are trying to gain insight into your ex boyfriend here we are going to be using the grass is greener syndrome in the context of relationships. If I had to pick out one of the most frightening aspects of this entire thing it is that you could be doing everything perfectly in your relationship, you could literally be the best girlfriend in the world to your boyfriend and he could still have a bout of GIGS.
Take the quiz. This site was really designed for women who are trying to get their ex boyfriends back. So, lets take a moment and look at what your ex boyfriend may be experiencing assuming he got a bout of the GIGS. In my opinion, there are really three outcomes that can occur when it comes to your ex boyfriend.
For most of the women on this site this has to be one of the most horrifying outcomes that can potentially unfold. The way this works is actually pretty simple.
You and your boyfriend are doing great. You love him and he loves you. Actually… now that I think about it I have always thought that from the moment I started dating her.
To be honest, this is a situation where I think he may be justified in his reasoning to want to look elsewhere. Lets pretend that you and I are dating. Throughout our relationship you are horrible to me. You are controlling, manipulative and get angry at every little thing I do. Pretty soon all of this craziness from you begins to weigh on me and a singular thought begins to enter my head,.
I think I can do better. In other words, your inability to be a caring girlfriend was your own downfall as it caused me to look over the fence to see if the grass was greener anywhere else.
This is a very interesting type of grass is greener mindset. Nothing ever fulfills him and as a result he opts to look elsewhere for it. In other words, he jumps from relationship to relationship trying to find someone who is going to fulfill him. Unbeknownst to him just the way he is, always thinking he can do better, prevents him from ever sustaining a long term relationship with anyone.
Admittedly, this particular mindset on a man tends to be really rare. However, there are warning signs that you can keep a look out for.
Learn about how you can get an ex boyfriend back by clicking here. I like to call this phenomenon, the setting the bar effect. If your ex boyfriend could rate his experience having a relationship with you on a scale what do you think he would give you? Lets use the example I gave above in the last section about you being a horrible girlfriend and doing nothing but berating him throughout the entire relationship as a placeholder.
Given this particular situation what do you think your ex boyfriend would rate you as? Where would he set your bar? Alright, in this particular instance if your ex boyfriend can find a girl that can put provide him with a situation better than a 2. Heck, maybe you were the best girlfriend that he ever had in his entire life and he gives you an 8 out of Well, if your ex ends up getting the GIGS he may potentially leave you because he thinks he can do better.
Anyways, lets say that he does find a girl that he ends up dating for a little while but he only sets her bar at a 7. This is a case where the grass is not greener and he is going to be really kicking himself for letting you go. In other words, he will be filled with an extreme amount of regret. Lets assume that your ex boyfriend did leave you because of the grass is greener syndrome.
He rated your overall relationship as a 6 out of Well, when he finally does get in a relationship with someone else he may found out that she is a 6 out of 10 as well. Remember, the grass is only greener if he can find someone who can beat the bar that you set. Of course, the other fly in the ointment for him is the fact that the grass may be a little greener at first but it almost always never stays the same.
Need help getting an ex boyfriend back step by step make sure you check out my E-Book. Everyone here is aware of the honeymoon period in a relationship right? Well, for those of you new to the game the honeymoon period is this period of the time at the beginning of a relationship where you have this constant emotional high and your significant other can do no wrong.
This is normal for every single romantic relationship that has ever been formed since the beginning of time. Anyways, after I leave the relationship I determine that my experience with you was a 7 out of Then the inevitable happens, I meet a new girl and start a new relationship with her.
At the beginning this new girl and I are going to be going through a honeymoon period so my experience in that relationship is going to be super high probably a 9 or a The honeymoon period begins to wear off and that is where the true test of a relationship begins. Pretty soon this new girl and I start fighting a lot. Let me give you an example. When you are driving around in the car and listening to the radio what do you do when you hear an amazing song for the first time?
I immediately memorize a few lyrics to the song and send a text message to myself so I can look it up later and buy it. Once I have bought the song I listen to it about 50 times over and over again. This is a bit of an issue because after you listen to a song that much it kind of loses its appeal after a while. Sure, some honeymoon periods last longer than others but the end result always seems to be the same, it ends. It just means that your ex boyfriends initial view of the relationship he is currently in may go down a little bit.
Learn how to get your ex boyfriend back. I actually have two real life examples that I can tell you of how the grass is greener syndrome works.
I am going to give you an example of a woman who I communicated with on this site who ended up getting her ex boyfriend back after he got GIGS. In other words, I am going to give you an example of a case where the grass was not greener on the other site.
In addition to that I am going to be giving you an example of a case where the grass WAS greener on the other side by talking about the mindset of someone I know who met his future wife after a case of the GIGS. A girl gets dressed up one night to go to a big party because she knows HE was going to be there. Something was different about her though. Brad was noticing her in a different light. They spent the entire night together swapping stories, philosophies and dreams.
By the time the party was over at 2am the two were still talking. Accept the fact that what you love is the image you have of them in your mind. Not what they are now. Hope what i typed make sense to you all. I'm struggling myself, but it's getting a bit easier. She's going out clubbing tonight with her friends according to her facebook newsfeed friend told me, i didn't check.
Clubbing is something she's always hated doing refer to point 5 and 6. If anyone would like to add more points to remember, i'd be gladly add it to my post.
I am actually going through this right now, except its a little bit different for me. I started to get cold feet and wonder what else might be out there, there was no actual "friend" that I hung out with though My relationship went downhill after I told her about my cold feet.
Eventually, she dumped me, I didn't dump her. So now I am realizing what a huge mistake I made. My ex is in a rebound I think? She left because she thought I didn't want to marry her not true.
She started dating a guy a week later. Never met him before we split. She basically moved in with him 2 weeks after they met. She hardly even new him when she moved in. She is 24 but there was no cold feet as she was the one who wanted more right away.
She broke up with me but was taking it hard for that week she was alone. She could not deal with the breakup on her own. What you just wrote pretty much summarizes my ex. He actually started cheating on me the last 2 months of the relationship.
I became really paranoid, obsessive, whatever you'd like to call it because he was constantly lying to me about her. She knew very well about me. Well, now it's been 6 months and they're engaged, or so I've heard. Funny how he proposed to me too even earlier than that time period.
Although he is 25, he is very immature for his age. And funny how his longest relationship was 18 months, and that was with me. His other relationships were 8 months to 1 year MAX. So I doubt this one will go any far. Plus, it really shocked me that he liked her who was the complete opposite of me.
And yeah, after we broke up, he called and I said, "So a new girlfriend 3 days after the break-up? Either way, I have learned that such people are not reliable people. Their emotions are all over the place. They can't even be happy with themselves. They have to run to other people to comfort them. I can relate to a lot of what you posted because I feel that I fell victim to the same scenario with my ex. My ex and I were together for 18 months.
We had a very healthy, loving, faithful relationship. She was the one person I trusted with everything. This web of lies continued until I was exposed to the truth in November. Approximately 2 weeks after we broke up, my ex began sleeping with her female boss and her boss's boyfriend.
This continued for several months. When her boss didn't reciproate the depth of my ex's feelings, she quickly entered into another sexual relationshp with two other people from work, one of which she's been in a relationship since November. I know that my ex never owed me an explanation of her behavior, but i'm sorry, that doesnt obsolve her from being honest. Any decent human being who once loved you, should have the decency to expose you to the truth.
Even when I didn't elicit a response, she went above and beyond to assure me that she hadn't been intimate with anyone or looking to be with anyone.
Additionally, she spread awful lies about me to others. I never paid for anything when we were together, I never wanted to go out and do things, etc. From what I've read about Borderline Personality Disorder, everything she's done and has done in the past is very reflective of this Mental Illness.
From what I know shes been with about 14 people she's 24! I just dont think she's fully capable of loving like a 'normal' person can and has NO sense of identity whatsoever. I've seen her adapt to her surroundings and others like that of a chameleon. Suffice it to say, I haven't talked to her. The last time she contacted me was a few weeks ago. But, I haven't seen her since November. Even then, she was lying to my face telling me that she missed me, loved me, but wanted to be alone. Now I feel like a fool knowing she had already been with 4 people by the time we met up!
Well, based on what I gathered. I'm not sure if you would call your ex with borderline personality disorder. I would say she's more a less a commitment-phobe. She jumps from one relationships to another G.
She keeps hopping around until she finds what she wants. This is a sign of insecurity and immaturity on her part, because she doesn't know who she is. She's hoping that she can meet someone that'll define them, and if having sex with these people will make them stay around, that's what she will do. She's searching for something, and that "something" is what she'll have to find in herself, no one person out there can define her.
She has to come to that conclusion herself. She didn't expose the truth to you, because she didn't want to seem like the bad guy. She in a sense was trying to protect both you and herself. This stage of a relationship always fades, but hopefully it transforms into something more meaningful.
The desire to do anything to please that person. The feeling of unity with their soul. The willingness to accept and even adore their flaws. These are all ingredients of the mysterious emotion we call love. The problem is: a lot of people think a perfect relationship needs an abundant supply of love and lust from both ends.
They convince themselves that the perfect relationship must exist elsewhere with someone different. After all, we only get one shot at life, so why not make the most of it?
However, excessive FOMO might not be so intelligent, especially if it convinces us to give up a great partner. Psychologists never really studied FOMO until the late nineties, but most of the key studies have mentioned social media as a key cause.
Indeed, social media is a platform where people post the highlights of their lives and their relationships. All positives, no neutral or negatives. This can add to the feelings of emptiness and low self-esteem they were already suffering.
It can add to the unrealistic belief that a good relationship must be romantic and exciting all the time! And often, instead of talking with our partner about it, we end up with grass is greener fantasies. Regretting a breakup usually occurs when we feel alone or when we experience some failure at dating new people.
So if your ex is struggling to find someone new or they met someone who let them down, that would speed up and trigger a feeling of regret for leaving you. Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel. Skip to content Home How long do grass is greener relationships last?
Ben Davis May 29, How long do grass is greener relationships last? Does my ex have grass is greener syndrome? What is greener grass syndrome? Is the grass sometimes greener?
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